When you’re not having great luck with online dating, redoing your profile can help your “personal marketing” efforts. I’ve been in rewrite mode a number of times over the – insert sigh – years, but lately I’ve been suffering from online dating burnout and my profiles are gathering dust. The good news? Something inspired me recently to redo my Tinder and Bumble profiles.
I’ll explain while we enjoy a generous helping of vegan pumpkin panna cotta– a delicious dessert you could make for Thanksgiving. I used coconut milk and simmered it for 5 minutes after it boiled.
Tinder was not my first choice for a dating app. I waited until its reputation as a vehicle for hook-ups faded and it became just another way to meet people. I was, however, an early adopter of Bumble, which hands the power of first contact to women.
My profiles on these two apps are almost identical and I’ve had some luck with matching and dating but now I’m in a dry spell.
Dating inspiration came during a recent visit with my daughter who I will call Ms. D for daughter. Ms. D casually mentioned she joined Tinder. A gorgeous 31-year-old, she has good luck meeting men in real life. She’s not a fan of social media and until signing up for Tinder, had no interest in online dating. So I was surprised she had downloaded the app, particularly since she has been dating someone.
However, I’m used to Ms. D suddenly springing things on me (“Hey Mom, I might go to Thailand or the Bahamas this winter.) And she explained that the guy she has been seeing is not long-term potential. Perhaps her biological clock is ticking? I kept my mouth shut. I was curious about her profile. I knew her pictures would be enough to match a good number of Tinderfellas but I wondered what she wrote.
She offered to show me her profile. It’s perfect. As a writer who agonizes over every word and punctuation mark, I sometimes get caught up in making my profiles so clever and cleanly written that I lose what’s really important – ensuring that my unique personality comes through. In four short sentences, Ms. D’s profile captures her individuality and even highlights known “guy attracting elements” such as baking skill.
Sorry, I can’t share what she wrote. But I can tell you that I was inspired to throw out my old profile and pen a fresh one. I chose very specific interests to highlight and ditched the “creative headline” which had not brought me Mr. Right. I posted the profile on both Tinder and Bumble. I wondered if I would get more matches. And something interesting happened. A guy I kept passing without contact on Match and OurTime said yes to me on Tinder. He’d never reached out on either of these more traditional sites. I was thrilled. But my joy was short-lived. A short time later, he unmatched me. Was the initial match accidental? Did he finally notice my age? One never knows with the online dating world. As my mood plummeted, I decided to tweak my profile again. I realized it was still too “produced.” So I upped the quirkiness factor.
Will this new profile be my ticket to a relationship? As a 60 something singleton, I can’t expect the same response from Tinder men that my daughter received. In her first 24 hours on Tinder, she matched with about the same number of men I matched with in all of 2017. But I’m not looking for quantity at this point. Just one good one.
Until next time, happy dating or not dating.