Everyone’s Searching for Something, Chapter 2

blog pix may 28 searching

Are you curious about other readers of this blog and what prompts them to read about dating, sex, and life in your 60s? After all, it’s comforting to know you are not the only person faced with particular concerns.

It has been over a year since I’ve looked at the search terms that bring people here. Let’s catch up over some spring minestrone verde with pistachio pesto and see what’s on readers’ minds (with my comments, of course).

The search terms reflect a global base since you, dear readers, are literally from every country on the globe.  The US leads the pack, followed by the UK and Canada in that order – all the way down to Vanuatu and Oman (where are these places?). I love the fact that Vanuatuians (sp?) are also concerned about the state – or non-state – of their love lives.

The number one search that brought people here in the last year and a half was “dating in your 60s rules” or “breaking up in your 60s.” A tie. Unfortunately one often leads to the other. The only rules I follow are my own, based on what I have learned and found works best for me. And I break them as desired and often on a whim. For example, I used to have a rule about never sending the first message. I soon ignored that rule. However, if a guy is younger than me, I usually let him make the first virtual move.

“Coffee meets Bagel scammers” was the next most popular search and the post on this topic was one of my most viewed. This might be a warning to those of you on this dating site. I gave up CMB and OkCupid due to a preponderance of fake profiles.

What else are people interested in?

How about “taking the stress out of dating in your 60s?” To me, the biggest stress is finding someone I want to date and actually going out on a repeated basis. Of course, there are other stressful aspects of the dating game such as ghosting.

Some are searching for “memories sex life.” I know about this one. During dry spells, I have memories of a sex life. Add this to the stress search noted above.

Other people found me by searching for “Breadcrumber.” Have you experienced this lovely modern dating phenomenon? It’s becoming more common.

“Sex with cougar in 60s.” My question is, who was searching – a woman of a certain age seeking guidance on taking a younger lover or a young cub looking for clues about what older women want? One never knows.

I find the brouhaha over the new French president’s much older wife ironic given the frequency of a similar age difference between older men and younger women.

Whatever you think of such an age gap between partners, it only seems equitable that your view should hold whether the man or the woman is the May or December party. See Julie Weinberg’s guest blog post last December for a look at an older woman/younger man relationship.

“Sex profile photos.” I’m not sure what readers were looking for with this search. Is the interest in sexy photos on a profile? I’ve seen some provocative photos but the sites don’t allow full on nudity. Those infamous dick pix have to be sent via a message. As far as written profiles that mention sex, there are plenty of them. Certainly OkCupid’s questions invite you to bare your soul and reveal your sexual interests and appetite.

“Ian Kerner cliteracy.” To learn about cliteracy, read my interview with noted sex therapist and author Ian Kerner. Kerner coined the term as a way to focus on “the clitoris as the powerhouse of the female orgasm in response to persistent stimulation.”

“OkCupid Ticklish.” Are these people concerned about an OkCupid match who has a tickling fetish? There are profiles of people who announce their fetishes on all of the sites, not just OkCupid.

Despite this interesting intel about your interests, the majority of searches are unknown. You are for the most part a mystery to me. Tell me what you’re searching for and I’ll see if I can help – or at least commiserate.

Until next week, happy searching, dating or not dating.

BONUS: I was recently a guest on a DivorceForce Survival Guide podcast on gray divorce.

Check it out on iTunes to learn more about divorce after 50.  

Note: There are some minor audio technical difficulties at the beginning. 

XXXOOO

Nadia

 

Everyone’s Searching for Something

google search 2 for blog

I’m curious about you dear readers. Aside from the comments on specific posts, the only information I get about you is the search terms you use to get to this blog. Don’t worry about privacy – I can’t tell who Googled what. I consider these search terms a window into your lives as they connect to the issues of dating, sex, and life in your 60s.

So, let’s kick back on this holiday weekend and have a splurge of white truffle egg salad while peeking at your quest for knowledge and help.

It is no surprise that the most common search is for information on dating in your 60s. I hear your frustration when you ask “Why is it so difficult to have a new relationship in your 60s?” I wish I had a simple answer to that question. I think we’re all dealing with an imbalance of supply and demand, the particular demographics of where we live, and the difficulties of online partner assessment. Just to name a few issues.

Sex is also of interest. Specific sex-related topics, with my comments, include:

*Rude sex (It happens.)

*Office interracial lunch sex (The sandwich alternative.)

*Is it normal to not be interested in sex in your 60s? (There are lots of reasons for this.)

*Rude sex profile pictures (An almost daily occurrence.)

*Amore sexual networking site (I have no idea who is using my name to run a business.)

*Talking about sex (It’s a problem if you can’t talk about sex with your partner. I hope this person read: http://bit.ly/1Iz2EWp)

*Dating, sex, and friendship (Not sure of the intent here, but don’t sleep with your friend’s significant other.)

*Do single widow 60s (sic) like oral sex? (Women are free to like or not like anything.)

Readers also search for information on intimacy and falling in love:

*36 dating questions

*The 4-minute intimacy experiment

*I have been dating a guy for 7 months and the sex is great. I see him 1 time a week per my request and he is so passionate when we have sex. So why am I afraid of falling more deeply for him?

(I don’t think my blog can assist but you might want to address this issue with a therapist who can help you work through these feelings.)

*Love in one’s 60s

*Falling in love in your 60s (My personal goal.)

Many search for dating tips:

*Fantastic dating profile

*What can I write for my online dating profile? I’m a 60-year-old woman.

*How to end a relationship in your 60s (This is tough at any age.)

*Breaking up in your 60s

*Flirt dating (My pet peeve: flirting that doesn’t lead to dating.)

*What is a dating dry spell? (I wish I didn’t know what this is.)

And then we have the offbeat and off-color:

*Dating site for denture wearers (I guess this might be helpful.)

*Hot male with big d_ _ _ with 300 photos (NSFW and not available on this blog.)

*Let’s just ­­­f­­_ _ _ on your lunch break (You may need that sexual networking site that someone else searched for.)

*Beef niche girls’ sex (This blog does not eat meat.)

Beef niche aside, I hope I helped most of you find what you needed. In fact, this blog addressed almost all of the topics mentioned above at some point.

So, keep on searching for information about dating, love, and sex. Let me know if you find what you are looking for here — and in life.

Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia