A Woman’s Inner Monologue During a First Date

blog interior monologue

Having become thoroughly seasoned (battered and fried) in the art of the first date, I’d like to share with you a typical inner monologue that I – or you – might experience before and during an initial meeting.

This is a composite interior “speech” culled from my now unfortunately vast experience with first dates.

I have broken the monologue down into four parts (before the date, the greeting, the middle, and the end).

The Prep or Seasoning Prior to the Date (see a past blog entry for bonus reading on this process)

“I should wear red to meet Mr. C since men like red.

“Thank God I have been working out. Hopefully my jiggles are less wiggly.

“I wonder if the waiters will recognize me at the bar. They must be wondering why I am always with someone new. I need a new venue.

“I really thought Mr. C was going to revoke me. At least he appears legitimate.

“Why am I nervous? I guess that’s normal. I wonder if he’s nervous.

The Batter (The Early Minutes)

“There he is sitting in the waiting area. He looks like one of the pictures in his profile – but not the one I like the best.

“He’s standing up now to greet me. He is definitely not 6’2”. I wore heels because I thought I could. Oh well, we’re about the same height.

“Just a hi greeting – no handshake (thankfully). Hugs can be nice. I remember a few who kissed me at first greeting.

 

Fried (The Middle)

“I seem to be asking all the questions, bringing up conversation topics. Maybe I’ll mention that. Oh, he realized that. Bonus points.

“He seems nice but I’m not feeling an attraction. Perhaps it will come if we talk some more.

“I don’t think he exercises much – seems to be more into spectator sports.

“I find the timbre of his voice somewhat unpleasant. Sigh.

“It sounds like he’s a good dad to his children.

“I’m starving. I wonder if I should mention ordering something. Not dinner – too much of a commitment – perhaps an appetizer to share. Yes, I will suggest it.

“Did I really need to hear that story about someone he used to date?

“I think it’s time to call it a night. I’ll offer to help pay the bill.

“He shouldn’t have taken me up on my offer. It seems counter to my feminist ways to believe the man should pay for the first date. And yet, I do…though I’m at odds with myself on this.

Finished (The End)

Nice that he’s walking me to my car.
“Oh, he’s a good kisser. Needs a breath mint, however.

“WTF?! Did he really need to have a hands-on verification from me of his growing desire? Am I back in high school? Yes, I think I am.

Epi-mono-logue

“Even before that little move to place my hand on his crotch, I didn’t think there would be a date #2. No spark. I remember that spark and I need it.

“I wish he hadn’t texted to ask me out again.

“I don’t want to ignore it. I know how awful it is to be ghosted. I’ll just have to text him and let him know I’m not feeling a connection.

“Next.”

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Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia