First Dating Rant of 2018

blog pix angry bird

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks calling out men who behave badly, rejecting men who are not for me, wondering whether I’m too picky or whether I’m not picky enough.  In other words, this has been a typical couple of weeks in the life of a sometimes-dating boomer. Then I read a survey that says women and men in their 60s are having the best sex of their lives. This is not uplifting when you don’t currently have a partner. To top it off, I keep getting Valentine’s Day ads and announcements.

Can you sense a rant coming on? Join me in a healthy five layer dip snack for the Super Bowl or any time while I detail examples of these annoyances.

#1 Men Behaving Badly

Remember Mr. Hot N’ Cold otherwise known as Mr. M? I cringe to admit he briefly resurfaced and I’m to blame for encouraging him albeit in a lukewarm way (love those temperature metaphors).

To bring you up to date, I discovered that the voicemails of people whose numbers you block live on in a blocked section of your voicemails. About a month ago, I listened to Mr. M’s last voicemail. It was nice and harmless enough and I decided that maybe he wasn’t a stalker just a poor texter. That doesn’t excuse other problems including his lack of follow through and long absences. I wasn’t about to reach out to Mr. M but filed away a less negative impression of him.

Then unexpectedly, Mr. M resurfaced on Zoosk, one of the sites we had communicated on. He “viewed” me, which is the real life equivalent of a flirting glance. I agonized about whether I should “view” him back but I was feeling a lack of male company and decided to cast my fate to the dating gods.

He responded by sending me a nice message through the site and asked if we could get together. I said I would think about it and let him know I was hesitant due to his previous communications and behavior. “I can understand that,” he wrote and asked if he could have a do-over. Later that day, I message him that we could have a drink sometime. This is when the leopard’s spots reappeared.

The evidence via messages:

January 4:

Nadia: Okay, we can meet for a drink some time.

January 6:

M: okay will look at my schedule to fit into  yours

Nadia: Okay (smiley face)

Friday, January 19:

Comment: Notice the time span. No response from Mr. M after 13 days. So I messaged him (I know what you’re thinking):

Nadia: Hi, Not sure if I misinterpreted your last message, but I thought you were going to suggest a day to meet. Anyway, thought I would check in to say that.

About 4:30 p.m. on January 19th:

M: I got back in town thursday. was overseas working. What are you doing this evening

January 19 (continued):

I didn’t see his message on the site and then he phoned me. I missed his call. He left a voicemail and I called him back 30 minutes later.

Again, note the timespan. I returned his call on Jan. 19. On Feb. 2, he sent me a message through Zoosk saying he’d been traveling for work, then had to attend an out of town funeral, and after that “things were on the move with work locally.”   “I will try and call you shortly,” he wrote.

“I don’t think that explains why you didn’t return my call of 2 weeks ago…you were in town then,” I replied. “It seems like you are playing a game, perhaps just being a breadcrumber – look up this dating term. It describes the way you have behaved with me.”

Epilogue: As expected, there was no response from Mr. M. This is finally the end of the Mr. Hot N’ Cold story unless it’s not.

#Rejecting Men who are Not for Me

Last month I went out with a very nice man, Mr. ZZ, despite the fact he had the same first and middle names as my ex. That was almost enough to put me off but I decided to go for it. Based on his photos, I was worried I wouldn’t be attracted to him. I thought, “Maybe I’m too picky” and agreed to meet for a happy hour.

We had a “pleasant” time, no conversation lapses but it started to feel a bit strained toward the end of the hour. There was not a whiff of chemistry on my part. He didn’t have the kind of male energy that I like.

I sensed Mr. ZZ liked me but I could tell he was shy and at the end of our date he shook my hand goodbye. He viewed me several times over the next few days but did not reach out for a second date. I think he was waiting for me to “view” him back but I didn’t want to encourage him. I vacillated a couple of times and thought maybe I should give it another go but ultimately let it fade away.

#Wondering whether I’m too Picky

See above encounter with Mr. ZZ.

#Wondering whether I’m not Picky Enough

I could cite any of a number of conversations with men whom I clearly have little in common with other than we are both breathing.

#People in their 60s are having the best sex

Send one of the men surveyed directly to me.

#Valentine’s Day Hype

I suggest an alternate “Galentines” Day for women to celebrate with friends.

Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia

 

 

Crazy and Not so Crazy Dating Trends in 2018

blogpix emoji

Catfishing, ghosting, breadcrumbing, benching, zombieing, cushioning, cuffing, uncuffing. AARGH! Are you tired of buzzwords for dating trends? It’s the same old shitty dating behavior with new terms that factor in the use of online dating sites and apps.

It’s time for some fresh words that capture the more idiosyncratic behavior one can find in today’s crazy dating world.

Join me in some roasted mushroom and vermouth risotto while I share the latest dating trends for 2018:

Emojiing: Excessive use of emojis in messages.

I’ve been guilty of this one. I deliberately stopped myself from using emojis in every message and now limit my use of these drawings to a maximum of 1 per text.

Bitmojiing: A variant in which the dater only uses bitmojis to communicate.

Mymamaing: A relationship in which the dater parents the other person excessively.

Example: Are you sure you want to order that dish? It’s so high in fat!

Truthing: Extreme truth behavior. No white lies in your dating profile or any conversation. Photos have bad lighting to highlight real flaws. In response to questions, you only respond with true answers even if it hurts you or your partner.

Example: You are attractive but look older than your dating photos.

Trumping: His dating profile is curiously silent about politics. However, on a first phone call, he discusses Trump at length. On a first date (you agree to this against your better judgment), he extols the virtues of his favorite president. You’ve been Trumped. There is no second date.

Meetupping: Joining meet-ups for the sole purpose of making romantic connections. Wait, that’s already happening and it could work.

Nomeetupping: In this trend, individuals have no intention of ever meeting their matches in real life. Pretending to want to date is a game for them.

Golfing: A man who obsesses about golf in his dating profile and during conversations. Deal breaker noted in his profile: A woman who doesn’t play golf. First date is golfing or getting a drink at a golf range while watching golf on a large screen TV. His wardrobe on first date: golf shirt, of course.

Neversleeping: An individual is ALWAYS online. You might pop in at any time of day or night to check your messages and you will find that this person is online.

Notreallysingle: He may be divorced from his wife but because of commitments to his young children, he cancels dates, is late to dates or, if you’re in a relationship with him, he has little time for you. He’s a good dad but misrepresented his availability. Tip: Consider age of a guy’s children when deciding if he would be a good fit for you.

iPhoneying: Your partner cannot detach from his or her phone. On all of your dates, the phone is that annoying third wheel—even when you’re in the bedroom.

#ConfusedAboutMeToo: Difficulty in distinguishing between sexual misconduct and harassment in the workplace and welcome and consensual sexual behavior in non-workplace dating situations. Both parties in a potential relationship agree to sign a notarized contract allowing the first kiss with subsequent contracts for additional moves.

Have you observed any other dating trends? Let me know!

Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia

 

 

Does Online Dating Conversation Track with Real Life Talk?

blog pix jan 21 2018

Have you noticed the different trajectories of conversation with online matches? With some men, you might have instant flirting and witty banter. With others, the written conversation is methodical, as far from flirty banter as one could get.

I’m wondering if online conversation always tracks to what you experience when (if) you meet in real life.

Sit yourself down for some slow roasted salmon in parchment paper while we explore this topic.

I’m in a fairly methodical exchange right now. Do you remember Mr. K of “piña colada song” fame? Well, a week later, we haven’t progressed that far in our conversation. Summary: A little discussion about the song, favorite vacation spots, Mr. K’s bike ride with coffee and breakfast afterward (yes, indeed), and our respective music playlists.

The problem? I seem to be driving this conversation (think the call and response of the blues but no reciprocal call). I’m asking most of the questions. I decided to address this issue with Mr. K and give him an easy out. I didn’t want to waste my time and energy on something that seemed to be going nowhere.

Here’s our exchange  when I asked him what’s on his music playlist but he didn’t ask me what’s on mine. To my surprise, he wanted to stay in the game.

exchange with Mr K

Unfortunately, we’ve been emailing more than .5 minute. Mr. K gets a little slack because of working crazy hours as a government contractor and he acknowledged that’s the reason for a recent delayed response. However I have limited tolerance for a man my age who works like crazy and cannot balance work and a life.

Work aside; stay tuned for whether Mr. K and I actually meet and what our real life conversation might be like. I’m not too hopeful that we’ll have instant conversational chemistry but it’s not impossible either, since he appears to have a sense of humor.

What about the guys I have met in person? Has an exciting online conversation always been duplicated in person? Absolutely not. I recall one very flirty and fun exchange with a radio broadcaster. Sadly, when we met I felt zero attraction. Without chemistry, flirty banter is impossible.

If a guy goes right to the invite, we don’t have much of a written exchange. In some ways, this seems more “real” as if you met a man at a party and didn’t have the experience of exchanging emails or texts beforehand. In a “real life meeting” scenario, chemistry, personality, and perhaps luck determine a good conversation.

The opposite side of that is the guy who never goes for the invite – despite decent written exchanges. I had a recent online encounter with Mr. S who forgot that we had exchanged messages awhile back before he stopped responding. He reached out anew and we carried on for several days before he dropped out once again. No great loss since I did some sleuthing and found that his pictures were quite old and so was he.

I’m trying to think of a situation where the online or phone conversation was lackluster but the in person chatting was good or great. There was a musician and music teacher who didn’t wow with me witty written banter but in person he had some fascinating stories. It was interesting but not a two-way exchange.

And now, totally unrelated to actual conversation, I’ll leave you with an award winning (for narcissism) Tinder opening. Because women are feeling angry and fed up with men lately, I hope you get a vicarious satisfaction from my response to Mr. Narcissism.

Tinder blog pix jan 21

Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia

Random Rants, Observations, and Questions

woman screaming blog pix

This year, I’m not in a mood to write a sarcastic singles holiday letter but I feel a need to vent, observe, and comment on the current dating scene.

Let’s chow down on some one pot kale and quinoa pilaf while indulging in an end of the year wrap up.

*Is it sad that I recognize the screen names of some of the online guys that I frequently pass by on my way to bigger, better matches? When one of the “passed overs” sends me a message, a wink, or favorites me I don’t even need to open up the dating site. I already know who it is. They and I have been online too long.

*I realize that when a dating site sends you a match based on who you have previously interacted with, it’s really their version of computer “cookies:”

Hey, Nadia, we saw you browsing and you put OneHotGuy in your cart but didn’t check out. It’s not too late but perhaps you’d like AbsLikeSteel instead. Click through to his profile. 

*What is the motivation behind a guy’s frequent expressions of interest without following up? So many of them send “canned” dating site generated comments but never write a personal email.

I used to think it was a guy’s way of bookmarking me or testing me to see if I was interested. But these types of interactions never go anywhere and I continue to wonder what motivates these men.

*How can catfishers and identity thieves be so stupid? I can identify them with one eye closed…a professional photo of a very attractive man dressed to the 10s and an uncommonly spelled name, e.g., Micheal.

*How do you gracefully stop communicating with a guy after you ask him to post or send an additional picture and the one he sends confirms your suspicions that you could not stand to kiss him. I find that a lot of guys have one poor quality headshot (or half a headshot) and no full body pictures. Some ignore my request for more photos or make a silly excuse why they can’t send any. Others send a bad selfie or an obviously old photo, which gives me enough info to know there is no attraction.

The last time a guy sent me a selfie I waited a couple of days and said I had met someone and wanted to see where it would go but the real reason is that I had zero attraction to the guy. Is there a better explanation that is also kind?

*I hate Zoosk’s Carousel feature in which you scroll through photos of men. The problem? No profile or basic information is visible. All you get is a photo and the guy’s age. Inevitably most of the matches that result don’t work. A typical match might be a smoker who lives 300 miles away and is separated – hitting three of my deal-breakers. I know guys on Tinder and Bumble don’t always have profiles but some of them do and sometimes you’ll at least see a location, where a guy works, and where he went to school.

OurTime has a feature similar to Carousel but it allows you to see a man’s profile before deciding if you want to meet.

*What if you ended a first date by rating the person and sharing that assessment — like what you do at the end of a Lyft ride?

Here’s what the dating sites and apps could add to the phone interface:

On a scale of 1 to 5, how would you rate your date’s

*Attentiveness and engagement

*Profile accuracy

*Cleanliness/grooming/manners

*Chemistry with you

Would you go out with this person again?

You and your date answer the questions and you immediately see each other’s responses. No awkward wondering, does he/she like me?

*When a guy says he’s a simple man, is he saying he’s unsophisticated, foolish or mentally impaired or does he mean he’s able to find happiness in the smaller things in life. Hard to know. So many of the men I encounter appear to fit the first definition.

*I have noticed that guys who appreciate antiques, old cars, 70s music, etc. tend to not be so picky about dating a woman of a certain age. One could say they like the classics.

Do any of these resonate with you? What are your rants, observations, and questions?

Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia

The Dog Days of December – a Holiday Fantasy

dog days blog pix

I blame the 10 days I spent taking care of my grand-dog. Somehow during that time of bonding I began to imitate animal behavior.

Let’s have some roasted sweet dumpling squash with red onion and pumpkin seeds , a doggie favorite, while I explain.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Leslie and I went to a museum holiday shopping fair. As we walked by the Phillips Gallery display, I spotted an attractive man at the next booth; I immediately sank to the floor and stared at him. Leslie, who had been trying to drag me to the hot chocolate table in the next aisle, saw me go down and stopped.   “Are you okay?” she asked, “Did you slip?”

In that moment I couldn’t answer. I knew I wanted that man and sitting waiting for him to notice me and come over seemed like the natural thing to do. Leslie reached down, and grabbed my arm. “Let me help you up,” she said.

I resisted, my eyes never leaving the object of my desire. I decided to call him Mr. H for hot.

“Did you sprain your ankle,” she asked. Then, in a flurry of Wonder Woman transference, she lifted me to a standing position. “Lean on me if your ankle hurts,” she said.

At this point, Mr. H who had been engrossed in a National Gallery of Art bin of prints noticed me. My gaze did not waver.

Meanwhile Leslie realized I was able to put weight on both feet and started to pull my arm. “Come on Nadia, I really need a shot of hot chocolate right now. It’s my favorite holiday indulgence.”

I pulled in the other direction – toward Mr. H. Leslie, as strong as she was, was no match for my swimming-trained arms.

I walked right up to Mr. H and started nosing around his cute denim- covered butt. Suddenly, a woman came up to Mr. H. “Max, look what I ….” She stopped and saw me sniffing around. “What the….” I swear she growled at me. She pulled at Mr. H/Max. “Let’s get away from this crazy person,” she practically screamed. Mr. H/Max looked at me longingly but followed the woman.

Leslie shook her head at me. “What did you put in your coffee this morning?” she asked.

“Nothing,” I said, “I don’t know what came over me but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from acting that way. Am I going crazy?”

“Hopefully not- maybe it’s your way of reacting to the political and societal madness of 2017. It seems like any behavior goes these days. Let’s go get that hot chocolate.”

We headed toward the wonderful aroma of cocoa only to see a man crouching on the floor looking right at me. I couldn’t help myself. He was even finer than Mr. H. I sprinted to him and we ran in a circle chasing each other. It was clear we liked each other and were not afraid to show it – so unlike humans!

What’s the moral of this fantasy? There’s a lot that dating humans can learn from animals. You might have to tweak some animal behaviors to make them suitable for human interaction (and to avoid arrest):

*Don’t forget the power of eye contact. Looking at someone signals interest and attraction. Put away that phone.

*Approach the object of your fancy and smile (sorry-sniffing only allowed in fantasy mode)

*Be active with your partner. It’s a great way to bond. Chase that tennis ball or go for a walk in the woods.

*If you’re lucky enough to be partnered, give your SO a great dog-worthy greeting. You know what I’m talking about. The kind of greeting a woman gives the man she thought was lost at sea.

Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia

Dear Nadia, I Have a Dating Dilemma, #2

blog pix Dec 10 2017

Not much is happening in my dating life so it’s a good distraction when a friend reaches out for dating advice.

My friend Lauren’s dilemma: She’s enjoying conversation and flirting with a friend/colleague who wants to move the relationship to the next level. She knows a relationship with this person would not work and that a fling is also problematic. The situation is complicated in several ways.

Lauren, who is separated and actively planning her divorce, called to discuss the situation and bounce around some possible scenarios. Names and identifying details have been changed.

Have some fast and crunchy baked cod while I share my friend’s situation.

Lauren’s story reminds me of times when I have encountered decision points in my dating life. I knew what to do about a certain guy but I was tempted to go in the wrong direction. I needed a friend to reinforce my better instincts.

A couple of years ago, Lauren hired Joe, a landscape contractor at the hotel she manages. What started as a collegial work relationship has advanced into a friendship. Recently there has been a lot of banter and flirting and Joe frequently suggests that the two should talk over a particular problem at dinner or happy hour sometime.

Joe, who also does landscape work for Lauren’s soon to be ex-husband, knows about the couple’s marital situation. In fact he offered to be a witness in their upcoming divorce hearing.

Joe is 11 years younger than Lauren, less educated than she is, and is a hard drinker with a bad boy past. “He’s not relationship material,” she says. “The problem is that he’s attractive, has a great six-pack — despite too many six packs–, and is a really nice guy.” A few days ago, Joe texted her and invited her to a happy hour.

This was a clear invitation – not like previous ones that were more indefinite. Lauren is tempted by the possibility of a romantic fling but knows she should say no. She’s wondering how to decline his invitation without losing the friendship or offending him in any way. And she’s sad that if she turns down the happy hour, the flirting that she’s enjoying so much will likely disappear.

“How about if I just tell him I’m too busy right now getting ready for a holiday visit from my relatives and that getting together in the new year is more feasible?” Lauren asks.

“This leaves open the possibility that you’ll go out with him,” I suggest. “You’ll have to clarify your intention at some point – either now or the next time he asks you out.”

Lauren sighs. “He’s too young for me – even for something short term.”

“If he was fling material, his age wouldn’t be an issue- and might be an asset,” I say, “but he’s not good fling material. You’ve got a work relationship you don’t want to mess up and you’re counting on him as a witness in divorce court. You need a less complicated scenario for an ideal fling.”

I suggest she respond to Joe’s invitation in a way that acknowledges their friendship but removes the possibility of dating.

I propose a potential response: Sounds like fun but I’m super crazed right now getting ready for my visiting relatives. Happy to get together as friends in the new year. I like to be clear and want you to know that I’m not ready to date. Plus I value our friendship and I would not jeopardize it.

I don’t know what Lauren wrote to Joe but she reported that she successfully turned down the invite and was able to maintain collegiality and friendship.

Have you navigated a challenging dating scenario? How did it go? Let me know!

Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia

 

Anatomy of a Brief Encounter with Mr. Hot ‘n Cold

blox pix hot n cold october 8

Sometimes it’s tough to come up with a lesson  learned from a life experience. In a recent dating encounter, I thought I had a lesson in the “pros” of a woman being proactive, but alas there was no prize.

Join me in some Octoberish one pot creamy pumpkin penne while I present the facts. Perhaps some of the behaviors described will seem familiar to you online daters, whether you’re male or female. In a new feature of this blog, dating tips will be asterisked.

Last June, I matched with Mr. M on both Zoosk and Tinder. Mr. M wanted to chat with me on Zoosk so I sent him an opener. He responded and we volleyed briefly until he walked away from the game. My last message to him hung in the cloud and I wondered if my comment was lacking.

After a couple of days with no exchange, I unmatched Mr. M on Tinder and assumed our encounter was destined for the dating waste bin.

Then, unexpectedly in September, Mr. M “super liked” me on Tinder, signifying our third match.

Here’s what he wrote:

“Hi there! What a fantastic and charming smile. For a moment you look so familiar.”

Snide thought (in my head only): Of course I look familiar, this is the third time we have matched. I had documented our previous exchanges via screen shots* but I played it cool.

Hi, I wrote, I think we matched on another site.

“Well,” he responded, “we need to meet, have coffee or tea for a wonderful conversation soon.”

It’s always my goal to meet soon, I responded. Ignoring my archival screen shots, I asked him to refresh my memory and provide a brief profile. (Sometimes I ask guys with no profile for their elevator speech.*)

Two days later, I still had not gotten a response to my question. Feeling fed up with this guy’s behavior, I decided to give him a piece of my mind.

text to Mr M

Twenty minutes later, Mr. M wrote back to say that work had gotten in the way and asked if we could speak by phone.

I suggested he send me his number and said I would text him that evening to see if it was a good time to talk. This is my preferred method* of initiating a first phone call. My goal here is primarily to use a guy’s number to search for him online and to verify his identity. Searching a phone number* on Facebook or LinkedIn can often lead to a profile even if that number is not visible to the public.

Bingo. I found Mr. M on both social media outlets and his profile, resume, and photos were in sync with the earlier dating profiles he had created. He was an interesting man of many talents and interests and I felt he was worth pursuing despite our shaky communication start.

We had a good phone call and some follow-up texting using my *Google voice number. Two days later he invited me for a Friday night happy hour. He let me know the evening would be his treat. I appreciated that – no need to fumble over splitting/not splitting the cost.

Of course, Mr. M was late to our meeting/date but he both phoned and sent text updates from the stalled beltway. When he walked in, I was impressed with his height (6’3”) but since he was wearing a suit, I couldn’t assess whether his broad shouldered body type was fit, a factor that’s important to me.

We stayed at the bar for 3 hours, a long first date by most standards. Mr. M talked more than me (a general pattern with guys) but I liked that he showed his vulnerability and love of family. His body language (lots of arm touching and eye contact) conveyed that he was into me and I liked him too.

Although I was disappointed that the conversation was more about him, I anticipated a second date would show whether there could be a greater balance in our interaction. A second date would also help me decide about some potential red flags (a brief Vegas-stye second marriage that was annulled, some X-file type comments that intrigued me but had me wondering).

At one point, he asked if I was seeing someone. I said no and he said the same when I inquired about him. Later I wondered if I should have qualified that with “I’m in contact with several matches but not in an exclusive situation.”

Overall date score: B+. I felt chemistry and connection.

After Mr. M paid the bill, he said he didn’t want to leave and we ended up sitting for a bit by the jazz combo that was playing before he walked me to my car.

Surprisingly, he tried to shake my hand goodbye but I cut him off at the non-pass and went in for a kiss and hug. Quite nice. He walked away and came back for a repeat.

I had a short commute home but during that time Mr. M called me twice, which I took as a strong sign of his interest.

All good, right? I anticipated a second date with Mr. M so I was surprised when the next evening, he sent a text:

“Had a wonderful time last night am little afraid to start cause I don’t want to have another failed relationship…will call u later

Hope you are having a great day”

My first thought: WTF??? For the second time, I was compelled to give him a piece of my mind.

I focused on the fact that after one date, it was way too early to talk about a relationship or exclusivity, let alone the possibility of failure. I wrote him my heart is open to finding the right person despite the risks of it not working out. I ended the text by letting him know that I liked him.

A day later he responded with a typo-filled text. The gist was that he liked me but didn’t want to disappoint me and let me down if it didn’t work out.

I texted him that was still a lot to take in after one date and asked what he wanted to do. Later that night Mr. M wrote that he looked forward to seeing me again and “we will talk tomorrow.”

He phoned the next day. I asked him to explain his concerns. He said there were many issues –including not wanting to introduce someone to his daughters and then have it not work out. He wanted to know about getting together but I reminded him I had relatives in town. Then work interrupted him and we never finished the call.

He texted a couple of times after that but did not phone again. I was starting to mentally write him off but decided to do one last bold thing and invite him for a drink on Sunday afternoon. He said he had a work deadline for a project due the next day and suggested instead that we try for during the week.

I stayed cool and replied Okay, sounds good.

A week passed and no word. I decided he was a Mr. Hot ‘n Cold type, unmatched him on Tinder, and moved on mentally. Then 9 days after our last correspondence he sent a text (typos and missing words included):

blog screen shot M #2

This was disturbing. There was no explanation for the 9-day lapse. He wanted help with finding an apartment in MY TOWN. He mentioned hanging out FULL TIME. No, no, and no.

Remember, this is all after one date.

I didn’t know what Mr. M’s deal was but I wanted no part of it and blocked his number.

So did I learn the value of being bold and proactive? During my first exchange with Mr. M about his letting communication drop I worried that my behavior would backfire and turn him off. But it didn’t. He told me on our date that he liked my bold message. In a later communication, I didn’t care about being “too bold.” I was more interested in letting him know it was too early to talk about a relationship.

The whole bizarre encounter shows me (once again) of the crash and burn dating phenomenon: When guys are too gung ho in the very beginning, it’s often followed by a withdrawal. This burn part might play out for different reasons and for different lengths of time but the result is the same – an ending. Ladies, be wary* if a first date is “head over heels.” Watch for signs that he’s about to crash and burn.

Farewell Mr. M. Next!

Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia