You Know You’ve Been Dating Online for Too Long When…

blog pix june 24

Whether you’ve been online for 6 months or 6 years, had 10 or 100 first dates, and progressed to assorted numbers of second dates and actual relationships (short or long term), you may reach a point where you are tempted to give it up.

Possible triggers include a heinous ghosting episode, an increasing lack of suitable partners, or the propensity of many men to window shop as a way of life.

Join me in some Turkish chickpea burgers as we review specific signs that you may be at or have already reached your breaking point:

You’ve been online too long when:

*You can remember the early days of Bumble when there was only one worker bee available.

*You have saved and checked enough photos on Google Image Search or Veracity mobile image search to fill an FBI most wanted file.

*You know that when a man says his age is 60 but he’s willing to date women up to age 75, he’s actually 76.

*Similarly, you know when a man says he’s 6’ tall, he’s actually 5’8.”

*Checking the online dating sites every morning and night is as mindless as brushing your teeth but without a guaranteed reward like a healthy mouth.

*You immediately shut down any guy who asks, “How long have you been on this site?”

*Being “favorited” is now one of your least favorite things, because it usually means you have been bookmarked and soon forgotten.

*You know not to take a man at his word when his profile says he likes to listen as much as talk.

*You have a new lexicon of dating terms: breadcrumbing, ghosting benching, swiping, etc.

*Dating terminology starts to affect everyday speech. When someone asks, “Do you have a match?” you don’t search through a drawer, you start to daydream about the guy you reached out to on Match.

*Your main reason for acquiring new Facebook friends is to increase your ‘stable’ of possibilities on Tinder, Bumble, and other Facebook-based apps.

*You immediately know when there’s a new guy on one of the dating sites because you are so familiar with the membership.

*Your inner editor is working overtime to correct such spelling or proofreading gaffes as “love the autdoors.”

*The bartenders at your favorite first date spots know what you’re drinking before you order.

*You’ve been filmed kissing dates goodbye on so many parking lot cams, that attendants are bringing popcorn to the security reviews.

Ranting aside, online dating – despite its many frustrating and time consuming aspects – continues to be a viable way to meet a romantic partner.

Hang in, continue to pursue real life interactions, and take it all with a grain or two of salt on your margarita glass.

Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook @60sdating

May Rant about Dating

blog post angry face for may 7

 

I keep giving guys a break. Perhaps the sparkling wit absent from their written correspondence will manifest in a real life interaction. Maybe they will look better in person than they do in their profile photos. I’m sure the 1-hour geographic distance will be inconsequential if we have chemistry.

Why do I force these issues? I don’t want to be so picky that I never find anyone. I do, however, refuse to compromise on what’s really important to me in a partner…so I only suffer illusions or delusions for a limited timeframe.

There are some guys that don’t deserve even a short break. Lately I’ve been feeling generally annoyed at bad or inappropriate profiles and photos. Swipe with me, click on profiles with me, and you’ll see what I mean. Fuel up first on some baked red snapper.

Examples from my dating files:

The word-less profile:

*A picture of an armed soldier sandwiched between two photos of a guitar-filled wall

*A “shadow” photo – literally a picture of someone’s shadow.

Sapiosexual ad nauseum:

May 7 blog sapiosexual

Mocking education and career:

*Graduated from University of Hard Knocks

*Works at: Director of Everything

Consider joining a religion-focused dating site: 

“I am a man with a fear of God….All I want in a woman is someone….who…has a fear of God too.”

God's Hands

 

Photo misses:

*Ten photos- nine of them are of a woman

*Bondage toys

Silly for silly’s sake:

 

May 7 blog silly 

 

 

 Fetish friendly

May 7 blog fetish

A man with a farm or wild animal 

*Cuddling with a tiger, rubbing noses with a llama (love animals just not these pictures)

LinkedIn not

*His profile reads like a resume or a biography by a historian and sometimes so does his first message:

May 7 blog linkedin 1

Profile example:May 7 blog linkedin 2

Extra credit for cleanliness and good housekeeping

May 7 blog cleanliness

So many more examples…Sigh. Okay, end of rant.

Until next week, happy dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia

Last 2016 Rant about Dating

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I’m feeling the holiday blues this week. It’s manageable and I’ll shake it off soon enough…but in the meantime (oops, at first I wrote mantime), it might be therapeutic to do a little ranting.

It’s always good to eat comfort food when you’re ranting. Try this lighter version of macaroni and cheese.

Top Complaints of 2016:

Men who cancel a first date within hours of the designated day/time and only when prompted by an email or text.

The backstory: This happened recently. I hadn’t heard from Mr. D in 3 days so I texted him to confirm our date. Mr. D replied by email to say he needed to cancel because of his work schedule and maybe we could try again after the holidays. Feeling fed up, I decided not to respond and blocked his number. Of course, he was on OurTime at the moment our date was supposed to happen. For whatever reason, he changed his mind about wanting to meet me.

Today I was scrolling through profiles on another site and one of the guys had the same profile word for word as Mr. D. One or both of them is a liar.

Men who swipe Yes on a “swiping app” such as Tinder or Bumble but then delete me right after we match.  

The backstory: I’m pretty sure these are the guys who respond solely to a woman’s photo. My theory is that once we match, they take a closer look, see my age, and unmatch me.

Men who view me daily but never contact me. 

The backstory: What IS this backstory? You tell me. Are they just playing? It’s annoying because you think someone likes you. Really, it’s just teasing. 

Men who view me daily, finally contact me, send an email or two and THEN disappear. Sometimes they start viewing me again months later. 

The backstory: Teasing, just like the guys who never email. These men don’t really want to meet anyone. Perhaps they have been castrated. 

Men whose main photo shows them posing with a gun: 

The backstory: WTF! WTF! I guess they hope to attract female NRA members. 

Men whose main profile pix is with Mom…or the main profile pix is just Mom.    

The backstory: I’m not sure of the message when it’s coming from a 60 year old man. Is he trying to show he has strong family bonds, that he has good genes, that he’s a Mama’s boy? 

Men whose main profile photo is with their children….or the photo is just the kids. 

The backstory: First of all, it’s a bad idea to put photos of your children on a dating site. These men may want to show that you get a “package deal” but you can put that info in a profile. 

Men who excel in the digital tease 

The backstory:

As Jessica Bennett reports in the New York Times, if you date in the digital age you may have encountered a breadcrumber: “They communicate via sporadic noncommittal, but repeated messages — or breadcrumbs — that are just enough to keep you wondering but not enough to seal the deal (whatever that deal may be).”

I went out with a guy like this. One date followed by sporadic emails every 3 weeks, including one to wish me “Happy Thanksgiving, dear.” He’ll probably contact me on Christmas day. I think my reply will be to send him a link to the Times article.

Men with poor hygiene (oral and full body). 

The backstory:

I’ve been ranting about this all year. Nothing new to add but I wanted to note it for the record.

Not knowing whether your gut is right.  

The backstory:

Remember Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice? At first her gut told her to reject Mr. Darcy…. but then she gets new information about him and realizes her gut was wrong and that she loves him.

Sometimes, like Elizabeth, my gut is wrong. However, I believe the old saying that the body doesn’t lie. If you feel something is wrong, it usually is.

Until next week, happy ranting, dating or not dating.

XXXOOO

Nadia