It can be hard to maintain optimism when you’re in a dating dry spell, listening to a soulful Trane track, and feeling the effects of two sleepless nights. In such moments of angst, I like to browse through my screenshot collection of bad, odd, NSFW, or poorly written dating profiles. With a smile, a LOL, or a raised eyebrow, I’m able to regain my joie de vivre.
Here, for your reading pleasure, is a sampling of the best of the worst, with my snide comments. Bonus reading: a message from my inbox.
France, Texas, Ethiopia…they are all the same. Could this be Google Translate gone awry?
Trust is so important. I would definitely trust a man who came to the U.S. when he was 35 years old and yet also managed to grow up here. Perhaps he matured at age 36.
Ahh, yes, the kind but vengeful man. I’d be wary of this yin/yang combination.
I know what comes into my mind when I look into his eyes: Elements of Style.
This excerpt is hard to read, so here’s a larger and still painful version:
i really feel very much honestly about myself here, but i think the best way , i can shared everything about my dreamed with my star woman,this secret will have to be both of us alone, write million of notes here is like selling my bio..look at my eyes and tell me what comes on your mind .. let build the spark from there ..
Nothing like advertising your services online. Wonder if he meant Scorpio rather than Scorpion? The latter, however, could yield a painful massage.
If only Tinder WAS more Tender….what kind of bite is he referring to?
In fact, there are lots of guys on Tinder who say “no hookups” but old labels die hard. I happen to like cute woodland animals.
This guy doesn’t list hunting as a hobby or grilling as a way of life but his #1 concern is whether I might be a vegan. #VeggiesRock
Also new to syntax and proofreading…
There are alternate facts and then there are obvious facts. Would you get to know someone you were NOT interested in?
I couldn’t enlarge the type, so here’s a readable version:
I have a dry sense of humor and adventurous when you get to know me. I believe we will get to know each other more if we are both interested in each other.
I don’t get the door knob reference. Please comment if you know what this means!
Apparently he received quite an education…
Wait for it.
Retyped for readability:
I am certainly prepared to give myself totally to my woman, and I do mean totally, and I expect her to give hisself totally to me in return.
One track mind times two:
And then I stumble across a couple of profiles that make me smile in a good way.
Until next time, happy dating or not dating.