Yesterday I received emails from two men on two different dating sites: a 57-year-old from OurTime and an octogenarian (86) from Match. Only the younger one brought up age, wondering if I’d date a younger man.
Perhaps this age span makes sense, as I am simultaneously feeling both older and younger. Does that mean I’m not aging?
Join me in some 1-pot pumpkin yellow curry while I discuss.
The online dating world makes you acutely aware of your age, even if you’re gracefully ignoring this fact in everyday life. Men select their age preferences when they’re in search mode so if you’re not in their preferred age range, you won’t appear as they browse.
Each dating site has its own peculiarities regarding age selection. On Tinder, for example, the lowest age range I can select is 46, younger than I’m comfortable with, and the upper limit is 55+.
So far, I have been honest about my age on these sites but I know men and women who present a younger persona. Sometimes, they’ll reveal their true age in their profile…as if to say, now that I’ve hooked you, here’s the real scoop.
Regardless of age, here are nine ways to feel younger. I live these principles and I think that explains my youthful outlook.
*Be open to new experiences
*Engage in frequent fun activities
*Delight in everyday occurrences – nature, human kindness, animal antics
*Value friends and family
*Be interested in romance and sex
*Practice resilience; ride out rough times
*Be active every day
*Live a relatively healthy lifestyle
Despite these principles, I feel older in various ways – some good, some bad. Some you would not choose to have.
Nine examples of feeling older:
*Living with new aches and pains
*Experiencing age-related health issues
*Realizing the limits of a life span
*Feeling frustrated and pessimistic about finding one of the ones
*Observing age-related physical changes to face — damn that harsh lighting
*Observing age-related physical changes to body (despite exercise). Thank God for Spanx
*Being more bold and outspoken (in some cases where I decide I’m mad as hell and not going to take it anymore)
*Feeling more capable (experience can result in competence)
*Recognizing that time on this planet has helped me figure life – and myself – out.
On a good day, feeling younger wins. I might have an exciting dating possibility or I’m looking forward to a new experience, or meeting a new friend. On other days, I wake creaky, stiff, and sleep deprived, and wonder if I’ll ever have a significant other again.
Some days I’m a mix of both: creaky but happy about seeing a beautiful sunrise. Perhaps those “mixed” days are the definition of middle age.
Until next week, enjoy whatever age you feel…and happy dating or not dating.