If you follow Olympics-related news, you likely read that obstacle course racing may become an Olympic sport.
Coincidentally – and despite having some romance possibilities — I have recently been thinking about dating obstacles.
Let’s ponder this issue while indulging in a lunch fit for an athlete or dater in training.
To appreciate the variety of dating obstacles, it’s worth a quick review of obstacle course racing (OCR).
According to Wikipedia, OCR is “a sport in which a competitor, traveling on foot, must overcome various physical challenges that are in the form of obstacles. Mud and trail runs are combined and the races are designed to result in mental and physical collapse.”
Note the reference to mental and physical collapse, which I bolded. I find this is a good analogy for the mental burnout that can result from the trials of modern dating.
Listed below, for your reading pleasure, sympathy, and empathy are the top 10 online and app dating obstacles:
*Finding someone you like and are attracted to
To do so, you must wade through a series of profiles with awful photos, poor to nonexistent writing skills, and such descriptors as “married” and “God-fearing.”
*Finding someone who also likes you
Hopefully your retooled, now excellent profile and carefully chosen photos serve you well.
Perhaps you view Mr. Z’s profile. Mr. Z then views your profile and photos. Does he write to you? Do you write to him? If neither one of you reaches out – even if someone has “favorited” or “winked” at the other person, call it a lost cause.
*Moving beyond the emails and texts
If you start corresponding with someone, will you get beyond this form of communication? Will you speak on the phone or arrange to meet? Or, will he or you just stop writing?
*Having a phone call
If you end up having a phone conversation, will it be good and balanced or will one of you indulge in a monologue?
*Moving beyond the phone call
Assuming you have a phone conversation, does he initiate an in-person meeting? Do you want to meet him or did he say something that turned you off?
If an in-person meeting/date is proposed, can you find a day and time to meet? Does he live an hour away? Can you both find a convenient time and location?
*Follow-through and waiting
Perhaps you have a tentative date scheduled but lately he’s been online quite a bit and you start to wonder if the date will be finalized. You worry that he’s window-shopping for his best option (as he sees it).
Do you hang in, keep busy, and keep looking (the old “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” cliché)? This is a particularly challenging obstacle. With any luck, your date will be confirmed and finalized.
If you are finally on an in-person meeting/date, is there chemistry and connection? Does he look like his photos? Do you? Is there give and take during the conversation? Flirting? Real listening?
What’s his body language like? Does he dive into inappropriate topics such as the terms of his divorce, previous relationships, or recent surgeries?
Do you want to kiss him? Is he a decent kisser?
Was there enough good in the first date to consider a second one? Does he text you after date #1? When/if will he ask you out? Will you go out with him again?
If everything fizzles at this point, and there is no second date, sit down and rest. You may be exhausted from running and leaping over obstacles. But don’t give up. Keep at it.
Eventually (and it might be a long eventually), you’ll ace this almost Olympic event and go on that second, third, fourth, and fifth date….
Until next week, happy dating or not dating.