I often feel like Goldilocks (with roots showing) as I try to find just the right chair (er…. man) and bowl of porridge.
The problem is that it’s not so easy to know when the chair is perfect – or if there are more ergonomic chairs in another bear family’s house.
Let’s discuss “the right fit” of man over lunch. It’s a politically themed season so join me in some White House Kale Salad.
Whether or not you have a list of “must haves” in a man or “must not haves” you probably recall times when a man has made you cringe.
This happened to me recently with Mr. K (see my last two posts ). To answer your question, yes, I decided to take action and inquire about a 3rd date. But before the date took place, we had a long phone call that clarified how I felt about him. And it wasn’t good.
During the rather unusual phone call (precipitated by my pointing out to him that texting was an inadequate form of communication), we covered everything from a sex-themed truth or dare Q and A to the election and presidential debate.
I’ll spare you the details of the Q and A (other than saying that sometimes if you talk about something too much, it loses its allure).
Regarding the second topic, Mr. K’s political leanings skewed too far to the right. And although I try to keep politics out of this blog, I was shocked at his thoughts about a recently released tape featuring a candidate. “Who’s to say the tape wasn’t doctored in some way, bits and pieces spliced together?” he asked. My mouth dropped open as I listened to his conspiracy theorizing. “And it WAS just locker room talk,” he said.
Mr. K mansplained several other points and topics, cementing my view that “this isn’t going anywhere.” I knew at that point we’d never see each other again.
But the worst thing: A couple of grammatical errors left his never-to-be-kissed by me-again lips. Can you say subject verb disagreement and pronoun usage error? We’re talking deal breakers.
That’s just me. Other women might not think that’s so bad. Point of clarification: I recognize that I’m not 100% grammatically perfect and, in turn, I ignore certain minor slip-ups in others. However, some errors, when verbalized, make me cringe. Example: Me and her are going to the game.
After the call, I texted Mr. K to let him know I didn’t think we as a couple would work out.
The next day, despite general annoyance and frustration with dating, I spent some time swiping on Bumble. Luck or serendipity was with me: I matched with a better prospect than Mr. K.
Take home messages:
*When you let someone who’s not right go, there’s an open space that will hopefully be filled by someone who is at least “more right” and I don’t mean politically.
*Provided there is strong evidence that a guy is interested, it’s okay to nudge him a little toward that next date. This way you can find out for sure whether YOU like HIM.
*If you’re on the fence about someone, you may only be a phone call or next date away from being certain you do or don’t want to date him.
Until next week, happy dating or not dating.