It’s time for a dating roundup: tips to make your dating life easier.
Help yourself to some arugula blend salad with pomegranate dressing while I share my latest dating hacks and suggestions.
Set up alternate profiles (without pictures) on all of the sites you are on.
This won’t work for Facebook-based apps such as Tinder or Bumble but you will find it immensely helpful for traditional sites such as Match, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish. First of all, having an alter ego will allow you the freedom to browse any profiles you are interested in without your “target’s” knowledge. Bonus: you won’t have to pay for premium private browsing.
By the way, “private” isn’t really private on OkCupid. I’m constantly seeing fleeting glimpses of guys who think they are hidden when viewing me. Hidden is not totally hidden and, if you’re online, you will briefly see the voyeur with his screen name.
Your alter ego’s profile should be somewhat similar to your “real profile” but not so similar that one would guess it’s the same person. Change the age by a couple of years, change your height slightly, choose a different eye color (remember you won’t have a photo), and pick a nearby city within your desired geographic area.
The advantage of not creating a drastically different profile is that it will increase your chance of matching with some guys you will like. You will get some of the same matches as your real profile but will also receive some new previously unseen matches. If you’d like to contact these new guys using your real profile, just search for them by user name.
I find it interesting and curious that some men will write to my alter ego even though I don’t have a picture. There’s hope for the male population after all!
Log into your dating sites if it’s cold and rainy
It may be obvious but more guys are online when the weather outside is frightful – even if they’re watching a game while checking their dating apps.
What to say to your Tinder or Bumble match when there is zero information in their profile:
Since you didn’t have any info about yourself or your interests in your profile, I hope you won’t mind if I ask you “the elevator speech” question. I think it’s easier than 10 back and forth texts. If we were in an elevator and you had 20 seconds to tell me about yourself, what would you say?
How to reply to an 88-year-old man who asks you out:
Thanks for the invitation. You’ve got a great profile but I don’t think we are an age match. Good luck.
How to reply to a 20-year-old man who asks you out:
I don’t date men younger than my children.
What to do when you need new dating ideas:
Look at upcoming or past activities of Meetups even if you’re not a member (unless the group blocks viewing by non-members). You’ll find lots of good ideas from people who spend time coming up with activities. In addition to trying one of the activities on a date, consider joining one of these groups.
What it means when a Tinder or Bumble match’s location changes drastically:
When a match’s distance from you changes from 15 miles to 5500 and then back to 15, it usually means he’s a scammer operating on the other side of the world. He just hasn’t figured out how to alter his location to be consistent. Just Google: how to change your location on your phone (or on Tinder) and you’ll find a number of hacks.
Unless this location-shifting guy is really a big-time international traveler (and he might say he is), chances are he’s not legitimate.
My latest scammer on Tinder said he was in South Korea on business as a marine engineer. See my previous post on dating scams. Engineering is a favorite occupation of catfishers. And of course, these guys often say they are widowers.
What to say (via text) to a Tinder or Bumble match you haven’t heard from in several days (unlike traditional dating sites, you can’t tell if a Tinder or Bumble match is online):
Thought I would say good morning and ask if you’d like to continue corresponding. I’m a straight shooter and I appreciate that in return. So my bottom line is I enjoyed getting to know you a little bit and I’d be happy to continue with a goal to meet in person. However, if you think we are not a match, for whatever reason, please let me know and I’ll “unmatch” you on Tinder. No hard feelings either way!
Personal note regarding this message: I sent this exact message today and I received a response within 10 minutes. Mr. M said he has been swamped at work and would like to continue getting to know me and to meet and see where “it” goes from there. Hope springs eternal!
Do you have any tips, tricks, or insights into the dating life? Let me know!
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Until next week, happy dating or not dating!