Online dating has brought me some choice experiences. No, that’s not what I’m talking about! Get your mind out of the gutter (at least for the moment). Much to my dismay, I have been ghosted (someone I dated suddenly stopped all contact) and I have interacted with a catfish (a guy who created a false online identity). Now, I have also been ”revoked.”
I am coining this new term based on recent experiences with the Bumble dating app. Bumble is a Tinder-like app where you swipe right if you like someone. If two people like each other, they get a notice that they are a match. What’s different about Bumble is that only the woman can initiate contact. If the woman doesn’t message her “match” in 24 hours, the connection disappears and communication is not possible.
Let’s have some honey cake in honor of being revoked on Bumble.
You ask, what is revoked? It is the delightful experience of corresponding with a guy, setting up a specific date, and having him cancel before the date. Cancellation could be 1 hour before the date, 10 minutes, or 2 days. And yes, these time frames are based on my experiences.
Since a picture is worth a thousand words of a blog post, let me show you a recent exchange with Mr. B.
Mr. B. sent this message 2 days before our scheduled date. After some back and forth, our date had been finalized on Saturday – 5 days ahead of time. Surely, one would know the date of a regular monthly poker game, particularly 5 days before it was to occur. And would guys really schedule a poker game for 4 pm, the time of our first meeting/date? I pondered this and wondered why he couldn’t tell the guys he’d be a little late for the game and meet me for an hour. That’s a perfect length for a first date/meeting.
Even before his cancellation, I was a little wary of Mr. B. Like a number of Bumble (and Tinder) profiles, his bio had zero information other than his first name, job info, age, and college – all pulled from Facebook. I asked for his phone number and did a reverse number check to find his full name so I could do a little fact checking beforehand.
Mr. B had a whistle clean Facebook page, pretty much a blank slate. This gave me pause. I pondered some more. I wondered if the reason he was so unavailable when we were trying to schedule a meeting was because he was married or dating around.
To top if off, this was the 3rd time I’d been Revoked on Bumble. I was mad as hell and wasn’t going to take it anymore. Or at least I was going to have some fun.
I decided to blow him off with what I thought was an equally implausible reason to cancel. So I wrote back:
Before I wrote this, I made sure there were local pole dancing classes. There are classes and there’s even a pole dancing Meetup. I thought it would be pretty obvious that I was mocking him. Not that taking a pole dancing class lacks credibility but I thought it was such a wild, out of the ordinary excuse that he would know I was making it up.
I was wrong:
He believed my excuse. Or he really likes the idea of me pole dancing. I didn’t respond to his text about finding a day and time to meet. He followed up two days later and suggested meeting next Tuesday. He’s obviously not in any hurry. (Possible wife or girlfriend? Check.)
I wonder if I agreed to meet, would something else come up? Perhaps a video game night with “the boys.”
I don’t plan to respond to Mr. B. Instead, I think I’ll look for a pole dancing class that meets next Tuesday.
Until next week, happy dating or not dating — or pole dancing.
P.S. I like the concept and application of Bumble despite the Revoked experience. Not sure why this happened 3 times in a row but I think it’s a random issue, not a problem with the app. Readers, if any of you are using Bumble, I’d love to know about your experiences. Listen to Women of Uncertain Age to hear about a Bumble encounter related to ghosting…or not ghosting. You decide.