In a recent Washington Post solo-ish article, Lisa Bonos describes her decision to decline new friendship offers. Bonos prefers to spend her limited free time and emotional energy on the great friends she already has. Investing in new friendships, she writes, would prevent her from nurturing existing ones.
I get that. And yet I’ve been on the other side of that situation.
There have been a few times since my divorce when I tried to establish new friendships with other single women but my efforts were fruitless. In these cases, the women already had a busy friend life and were friend-booked.
As we explore the friend dilemma of the newly single woman, let’s have some of Jamie Oliver’s vegan shepherd pie.
As a former student and once young mother, I remember the pleasure of sharing hopes, fears, frustrations, and tactics with others going through similar struggles.
Now I’m a member of an equally distinctive life state – divorced after a long marriage. And although I still love my married friends, I seek single comrades in arms to help me navigate and laugh at the murky waters of new singledom with all of its joys, frustrations, and issues.
New singledom issues often include dating. I’d like a cadre of wing women who can join me in proactive flirting opportunities.
How have I increased my single friendships? I started looking for new opportunities to meet potential friends – including Meetup groups, colleagues, neighbors, etc.
Then when I read the Post article about being at friend capacity, I posted on my social media accounts that a new friend app is needed for those who are seeking new connections.”
It turns out that there aren’t any apps yet (heads up, app developers), but there are three “make a friend” websites!
I learned about these sites from my third relationship book of the month, Middle Aged and Kickin’ It!: A Woman’s Definitive Guide to Dating over 40, 50 and Beyond.
In addition to providing many of the tips I gave in my first blog post, the book also lists the following “new friend” sites:
I immediately signed up for sociajane and girlfriendsocial. I had technical problems registering for girlfriendcircles and I’m waiting to hear back from the web master.
All three friend sites are free though socialjane offers a paid subscription version. Similar to dating sites, the friend sites ask you to provide a screen name, a profile with your interests, and a photo.
I can’t wait to complete my profile on the two sites and see what happens. Friend acquiring, just like dating, is best accomplished with a combination of online and “in the wild” tactics.
I’ll keep you posted on my progress.
Until next week, happy dating or not dating!