The Small Town World of Online Dating

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Like every small town, the microcosm of one’s online dating universe, is composed of familiar characters — from the “angry town drunk” to the “shy old fashioned guy.”

You might nod at these townies as you pass by on the way to “the new hot one” or the “back again after a breakup guy.” And some of them might reach out to you on a regular basis. Let’s discuss the small town world of Matchville while munching on some classic macaroni and cheese revamped by skinnytaste for a modern healthy lifestyle.

Strolling down the too familiar streets of Matchville’s Recently Viewed Lane and Connections Boulevard, I encounter a familiar face – Mr. G.

Mr. G first wrote to me when we both resided on PlentyofFish Town. I kindly let him know that I didn’t think we matched (age, height, common interests, language difficulties on his part) but he has continued to check in periodically on Matchville to tell me to not give up and to let me know he wished we could see each other.

Sometimes his emails boost my ego: “Why haven’t you been snatched up? The guys here are fools,” etc. etc. When I’m in a dry spell, an email from Mr. G can keep me going. At other times, Mr. G’s persistence gets on my nerves.

Then there’s the recently moved to Matchville “thinks he’s hot” guy who is my new best friend. At first, his brief over-confident one liners amused me, even as I told him we were not a match. But now, this neighbor is becoming the one I want to avoid and I’m dreaming of toilet papering his tree. “I will rock your world,” he writes, “Let’s go get a drink tonight.” No surprise – he hasn’t commented on anything substantive in my profile and all of his emails focus on HIM and why he would be so great for me. This townie will be blocked.

The shy old-fashioned guy still exists. He started out writing to me several months ago during the broadcast of an award show. It took him awhile to suggest a date – going to a concert some time this summer. I kept looking at his profile searching for interests in common and hoping I would find him attractive but I couldn’t swing it. Plus he lived pretty far away so I stopped responding (yes – guilty of ghosting).

Shy guy still views me periodically and sends a short “how are you doing” email as if to stop me as I walk down Matchville’s main street. But I keep on walking.

Another townie is the “possibly creepy but maybe just lonely guy.” One such guy views me periodically. Two years ago we viewed each other on a regular basis and then finally exchanged emails. I can’t recall who reached out first. Things seemed promising even though Mr. L is a decade younger than me.

We ended up emailing about dating and relationships and started to make plans to meet. Then he revealed that he has ED and is trying to explore other ways of being intimate. I thanked him for his honesty about a subject that is not easy for most men to discuss. After letting him know what I was looking for — and given my relatively recent divorce – I wanted the whole kahuna :smile:, our emails stopped. To this day, Mr. L views me on occasion. I sense his loneliness and sometimes wonder if I should suggest we get coffee and just talk.

There are other types and regulars in Matchville. And just like a small town, I know something of everyone’s business. I know when a guy has started seeing someone regularly because his profile is “hidden” or he hasn’t been online in 3 weeks. Some of these guys might be exes and I feel a pang when I think they have found someone and I haven’t.

I have a history with a lot of Matchville’s residents and it’s starting to feel too much like a small town. I’m getting bored and tired of the search. It’s not that I’m in a dry spell. There are some irons in the fire but nothing definite yet. I’m just impatient and ready for big city life.

Until next week, happy dating or not dating. XXXOOO Nadia

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