It’s been a strange week, but then when you’re single in your ‘60s, strange can happen.
It began last weekend when I watched two somewhat depressing movies about single women. One, A Five Star Life, told the story of an Italian woman in her 40s who reviews European luxury hotels for a living (sounds good, right?). After several developments in the lives of her friends and family and a chance encounter with a stranger, she starts to question her exotic but lonely life. I don’t want to be a movie plot spoiler so I will stop there. Let’s have Add a Pinch’s fish tacos (http://addapinch.com/cooking/fish-tacos-recipe/) while I tell you about it.
Given my movie escapes, I began the week with a somewhat melancholy mood. I hoped for a break from my dating dry spell (yes you will hear about this until you are quite tired of it).
On Monday, chance for a reprieve! I heard from Mr. A, an interesting man on Plenty of Fish. We corresponded with a series of brief, funny emails that did nothing to increase our knowledge of each other (aside from the important fact that we shared a sense of humor). I suggested we talk by phone. Mr. A agreed and commented, “at this rate, he would be in Depends by the time we got to know each other.” Once I had his number, I ran my usual security check . Everything checked out o.k. – except for his age. Mr. A was 5 years older than the age he had on his profile, making him just out of my desired range. I’m not a stickler in this regard but I wonder, “If he’s not giving out his true age, what else is he ‘fibbing’ about?”
I decided to trust enough for a phone call and we had a good one, even though I had to cut it short due to an appointment. We ended the conversation by both saying we would like to meet. I felt bad since I had to cut the call short and decided to email him later through POF to give him my dating email address. Mr. A didn’t respond to this email.
I was disappointed but then I remembered he had said something about visiting his daughter in Florida. I assumed he was travelling. However, over the next few days, I saw that he was online periodically… and still no response to my email.
I began to question his sincerity about wanting to meet. Then I speculated that perhaps Mr. A was the type of guy who was compelled to talk to 10 women prospects before deciding who he would meet. My other theory had to do with the fact that he lives about 2 hours away and may have decided the logistics would be too difficult. You can see the wild ramblings of a single woman.
I decided to move on mentally. On Friday, I read a short story by Lorrie Moore called Debarking. It was a wonderfully written tale of a newly divorced middle aged man struggling to find intimacy and love amidst the backdrop of the Iraq war. Not exactly mood lifting.
Friday night, unexpectedly, a friend (let’s call her Cathy) played matchmaker for me. This was a first – most of my friends don’t know any single guys. Cathy told a Mr. B about me. He checked me out on LinkedIn and then sent me a friend request on Facebook. Given Cathy’s recommendation and her assessment that Mr. B was also looking for love, I was excited.
Mr. B was shy, according to Cathy, so after friending him, I messaged him via Facebook to say hi. He responded and said he had a rough day. I asked if he was chilling. I was already wondering if I should suggest we meet for a drink on Saturday or Sunday. So here you have another glimpse into the wild ramblings of a single woman’s mind.
I didn’t hear back with the answer to Friday night’s “Are you chilling?” question until late Saturday afternoon. After a brief comment on his Friday night activities and Saturday bike ride, Mr. B wrote that given work and some family issues, it might not be the best time for him to try to start something.
So why did he bother friending me? I messaged him: “ As you wish.” I should have said something about not being interested in someone who doesn’t make time for dating or a relationship…but one tends to think of these things after the moment.
So, disappointed once again. It was time for popcorn, wine, and another movie, Delicacy starring Audrey Tautou. Great film about a young widow in Paris (o.k., perhaps I should have chosen a different one).
I was watching the movie (and not napping, which means it’s a good one), when my cell phone rang. I ignored it since I didn’t recognize the out-of-state number. Later, after the film, I looked at the number again and checked it against my recent calls. It was Mr. A – calling on a Saturday night. This is a no-no, per online dating etiquette. Then I went to POF and saw that he had viewed me.
What was going on? Why had he not responded to my email? Why didn’t he leave a message on my voice mail? Should I call him? Text him? Email him? Ignore him?
Should I tell you what I am going to do? I have a better idea. Let me know what you think I should do. I’m impatient so I may act – or choose not to act – before I hear from you. Still, I would love to know your thoughts.
Do you agree that it has been a strange – though not all that unusual – single(s) week?